Has anything good ever come out of NFTs? Aside from the Christopher Moltisanti meme (opens in new tab), I mean. I really can’t think of anything. The functionality they provide games is technically different from what has been available through conventional microtransaction sales for years, but it’s practically the same for those who don’t play games to be financial speculators, and the whole business of making, buying and selling them. is overrun with corruption and crime. “A useless, costly, ecologically destructive technology,” said the French union Solidary Informatics (opens in new tab) described, and I have no notes.
I myself have a pretty straightforward approach to the whole thing: no, thanks. It’s served me well so far, as I haven’t lost money due to fast-talking scammers selling bad clip art, nor have I missed a single gaming experience that could be described as even remotely immersive. Tfue cards (opens in new tab)? Tiny numbers (opens in new tab) on my Tom Clancy helmet? Atari (opens in new tab)? No thanks. Look, it’s easy.
Somehow, however, it keeps happening. Money goes in, and for a variety of reasons – criminality, incompetence, the fact that NFTs are inherently worthless digital ephemera not unlike the horse harness (opens in new tab) that set the gamer world on fire in 2006 – heartbreak comes out. 2022 was no exception.
Blockverse is going bankrupt
Blockburst, an unofficial Minecraft game to play, sells its original NFT offering and then splits
The year started off with a bang, although it was actually more of a poof: in February, Blockverse, an unofficial play-to-earn Minecraft NFT game, disappeared with more than $1.2 million (opens in new tab), just a few days after the initial supply of 10,000 NFTs sold out in less than eight minutes. The founders of Blockverse surfaced a few days later to proclaim that everything was fine, everything was fine and there was nothing to worry about, but of course there was plenty to worry about. A promise that development would soon “get back on track” never materialized, and neither did the money.
Axie Infinity forgot to change the code
North Korea-affiliated hackers take advantage of a vulnerability to make off with $617 worth of crypto
Blockverse’s million-dollar carpet haul would look like a major change a month later, when an Axie Infinity techno-botch enabled hackers to hack with more than $617 million (opens in new tab) in cryptocurrency. It’s complicated, but the short analog version is that after an NFT giveaway promotion someone forgot to change the access permissions, and a ton of money went out shortly after.
It was a mistake, no carpet pulling, but the net result was the same: Many people lost a lot of money because an unscrupulous d-bag decided he wanted it. The US government ultimately pointed the finger North Korea (opens in new tab); some of the stolen money was refunded and Axie Infinity eventually got back into action, but the token price is now well below pre-heist levels.
F1 Delta Time is running out of petrol
F1 Delta Time, one of the first NFT games, loses its license, players lose their cars
F1 Delta time (opens in new tab) didn’t fall victim to a carpet pull or incompetence, but it did demonstrate the inherent worthlessness of NFTs. Launched in 2019 as one of the very first licensed NFT games, it actually produced the “most expensive NFT” of that year, a diamond-encrusted F1 car (actually just a pretty low quality rendering) called 1-1-1 . But in March 2022, F1 Delta Time shut down after losing its F1 license, and those NFTs were basically gone. Developer Animoca offered various types of compensation for the now useless “assets,” including “proxy assets” that “will be used in the future to obtain NFTs for products in the REVV Motorsport ecosystem.” But given that NFT’s entire raison d’être is digital permanence, you’d be forgiven for wondering, “Dude, where’s my car?”
Untamed Isles sinks into the sea
The crypto crash takes down the crowdfunded MMO Untamed Isles and there’s no money left for refunds
The crowdfunded MMO Untamed Islands was a huge success on Kickstarter, where it reached its NZ$200,000 ($127,000) goal more than four times. It had slightly less success in the real world. In August, developers put the project “on hiatus,” blaming the 2022 crypto crash for their woes. Of course, there was also no money left for refunds, which resulted in some very dissatisfied backer feedback on Kickstarter. Developer Phat Loot Studios said it was “looking for ways to salvage both the core studio and the game so it can be completed and released,” but no further update has been released since then. Untamed Isles website (opens in new tab), Kickstarter (opens in new tab)or Steam (opens in new tab) page.
CNN closes the Vault
CNN is ending its Vault NFT program, waiving its promise of “exclusive CNN benefits” and the ability to earn your own NFTs based on CNN articles
Launched in June 2021, CNN’s Vault NFT program offered “digital collectibles” that were essentially jpgs of “significant historical moments” from the archives. It also provided a built-in system to buy and trade (i.e. monetize) its NFTs, through “a variety of sales formats, including both open editions and limited editions”. But in October, it said goodbye to the whole thing, leading to widespread cries of “back pull” from NFT owners. It wasn’t, in a strict sense, because the NFTs are still there: you bought an NFT, you got an NFT. But other parts of the closure are sketchier: the 2022 roadmap (opens in new tab)which can still be accessed on the Vault website, teased everything from a new Photography for Change series of NFTs to “exclusive CNN perks for Vault collectors” and the ability to hit NFTs based on any CNN article you can find want – all of which disappeared without warning.
Seth Green’s monkeys are gone, then back home
Seth Green falls for a con man, then pays $300,000 to get one of his stupid ugly monkeys back
Seth Green, known to gamers as Norman pilot Jeff “Joker” Moreau in the Mass Effect games, pulled his own carpet in June when he spent nearly $300,000 on regain ownership of a Bored Ape NFT that he had been scammed the previous month. I can’t imagine ever being rich enough to drop the price of a Ferrari on a low quality monkey scribble, but if I am I hope I have enough taste (or common sense) not to .
https://t.co/e7h3rfR3OH pic.twitter.com/lp5JWr762PMay 17, 2022
40,000 years in prison
Alleged NFT back puller risks jail time long enough to span the entire Warhammer 40,000 timeline
The collapse of crypto exchange Thodex in April 2021 resulted in losses of more than $2.5 billion, and its founder, Faruk Fatih Özer, fled to Albania with millions of dollars stolen from the company. He was eventually caught and ordered to be extradited to Turkey to face trial. If convicted, he will face 40,564 years in prisonwhich by my calculations means he may be out just in time to participate in the 14th Black Crusade.